Goa Ultra by The Hell Race - I did not finish the race.

The debut edition at Goa by The renowned Hell Race Academy announced the Goa Ultra categories and I fell for it in true sense. Having beaten, almost drowned and burnt under the sun the numerous run editions of The Hell Race has taught me to immensely grow as a avid runner. The remarkable event of Solang Sky Ultra 100K race was a daunting task and a debut 100k in trails, and with my naive skills, I emerged as a character that possessed a strong will. yes, I surprised myself too and so to be called the famous DNF despite having completed the course and missing the timeline by 3 minutes. Not receiving the medal for the 32 hours long haul on the trails was not disheartening but helped me evolve as a humbled individual who witnessed the worst and still made it to the finish line. Since then I have been attending the Hell race events just to push my calibre and had it in me to look forward to the next big what!

Cut to 10 years after the Solang Ultra triumph, here I am at Goa Ultra trying to bag it under the 60k category. Mixed thoughts for sure since I was in a phase of reducing the mileage on the runs as it was reaching a sort of boredom in those long hours and strenous efforts and all I was looking for a good break from running. Guess, the verdict was due on the race day of Goa Hell Ultra and the decision to call it off midway was a sense of achievement in itself. This wasn't me reaching the peak in my passion of running but a step back felt necessary to look for a new self and a new sport to be very precise.

Goa being my birthplace and having known the weather conditions and a considerable mileage under my belt with few event experiences, I was well versed of what its going to take to bell this cat. This event featured three categories and the start date of 120 and 60k category was aligned while the 30k category run was schedule a day later. A good number of people turning up was expected and few hiccups here and there knowing this was the first edition was welcome too.

The usual course of action was followed as always for the race. Showing up a few days in advance and resting the days out before the D day and also the bib collection was scheduled as always before the race day. However, the tricky part of the race was the 120km and 60km category races started at different location but had a common finish point. As a result, it did lead to a delayed start knowing this is the first edition and amendments will be made from the learnings. The start points were at Pallolem beach and Agonda ground respectively. From a delayed start for the 60km category, the sun basked in early in the race and being light in terms of hydration bags and necessary nutrition did not do any magic as it got quite annoying in the heat with no breeze of air around. It was hot, yes, It was humid yes, Was there rain , a little here and there, did the rain help you cool down? no. The sun had gotten harsh and taking the opportunity to run under the shade whenever and wherever possible was a go to strategy.

All was hunky dory till the 20th km but then I seemed to have a realisation of the fact that this aint taking me anywhere. Knowing that I have done events to an extent that gives me good insights of what I have and want to achieve ahead had gotten questionable. Runs in the country were definitely on the calendar to help train yourself for the international events. But was it getting too hectic and have I being overdoing it is something that was questionable. I did not have the answers at that moment but I very urge of stopping the race and resting yourself were doing rounds. I wasn't tired, I hadn't retired with injury, had no physical complications but that part of me that kept missing the charm of running continued to bother. With this thoughts in mind for over 10kms more in my run, I decided to stop it once for all. Fortunate enough to have the liberty to call my friend and have me pickup and also converse with a distant coach and a well wisher, I convinced myself to put my foot down once for all and decided to think about it another day.

The sense of relief had kicked in and body felt quite lighter. Mixed feelings of not proving a point to not wanting to prove anything. All I knew that the break was due and could say is that I did not have the comfort zone of running on this very day. Could it be emotional, physical or psychological? or was it just me looking forward to something at the finish line.

A really good and insightful question. Even if someone is physically fit, running — especially in a race — isn’t just a physical challenge, it’s also a mental endurance test.

Loss of Motivation or Purpose – If the "why" behind the run isn’t strong enough, the mental drive to push through discomfort can fade.
Mental Fatigue – Training, stress, or even life outside running can leave someone mentally drained, making it hard to endure the grind of a race.
Performance Pressure – Expectations (from self or others) can create overwhelming anxiety that saps energy.
Negative Self-talk – Thoughts like “I can’t do this,” “I’m too slow,” or “I’m not prepared enough” can override the body’s actual capability.
Stress & Burnout – Carrying work, personal stress, or burnout into the race can block the focus needed to keep running.
Lack of Flow State – Running requires rhythm and presence. If the mind is distracted, pacing and enjoyment break down.
Fear of Failure or Discomfort – Sometimes, the mind magnifies small pains, doubts, or fears until they feel like a reason to stop.

Running is often called 90% mental and 10% physical once the basic fitness is in place. That means your legs might be ready, but if your mind isn’t aligned, the body won’t follow through.

While I rested my heels and parked my thoughts for the moment, I took all the pleasure in meeting and greeting the fellow runners and cheering the dear ones and admired their achievement and glory. It was indeed heartwarming.